“Sometimes, late at night in the hotel room, after the lights have gone out and the mistakes have already been made, when it is heavy and silent and still, I lie awake and listen to my pulse on the pillow…”
Imagine you are on a tour bus, the miles whistling away beneath you as you sleep. Tomorrow you will wake up in downtown Somewhere. It doesn’t matter. All the skylines look the same. Time is only marked by events. The world is on a first-name basis with you.
But you…you barely even know yourself. There are those who give in completely to the idea of what it means to be famous. And those who can’t ever seem to leave the past behind. Life is a deep and contemplative story stuck on repeat—love, loss, self-destruction, self-discovery.
If you could go back to the way things were before you made it…would everything still be gray?*
This is such a great book about the ups and downs caused by mental illness, and the addictions and destruction it causes, without ever being clinical (read: boring, textbook-like) about it. It is told from the perspective of the person struggling with anxiety and depression and the pressures of having finally made it big in the music industry. It is lyrical and flowing, it keeps you turning the pages, not so much to find out what will happen next (because we already know the narrator will go back to Her, again and again), but to see what beautiful words come pouring from the narrator’s thoughts onto the page.
I highly recommend this book to those who are interested in the full spectrum of human emotions, who do not care so much about plot or character development as they do about feeling, who are curious about what is going on inside the heads of others, who perhaps want to see some of their own mania reflected in the mind of a protagonist. And, of course, to fans of Fall Out Boy–many of the band’s lyrics show up throughout the story, hidden inside sentences, just begging you to sing along.
*Synopsis and photo taken from Amazon.com.